‘Rightness’ is Relative, On Knowing Your Truth

‘Rightness' is a relative concept.
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Right for whom? Right for when/now? Right based on what factors?

Capitalism and kyriarchy forces choices based on factors often outside of what's good for us, our wellbeing, our families and communities, and ultimately, society. We’re socialized to think of others and their needs, more than our own, especially non-men and the marginalized. 

On top of that, we live in a world where the assumption is not autonomy and sovereignty, but projection, assumption, judgements, biases, and filters to how we connect and make meaning. Inherently, we’re meaning making machines and have been hard-wired to be that way since birth. And in the first seven years of life, we’re essentially making sense of the world and how to interact in it. That’s the process of indoctrination. ​

Many interactions lead with the assumption that is not rooted in safety, consent, and the understanding that people know themselves and their situation better than anyone else. And we’re encouraged to hero worship and put experts and others on pedestals, saying they know better than us. We are immersed in a culture of patriarchy that makes us doubt ourselves, that makes us sacrifice our well being for ‘profit’, that values productivity and intellect over connection and love, and, in essence, obfuscates who we are and what we are here to do. It’s no wonder we’ve forgotten. 
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But you do know your Truth?
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The underlying truth is we do know ourselves and what is right for us. Or at the very least, we have the potential to at any given moment. ​

What's right for me right now, might not be what's right for me next week or even in 10 minutes. The same for you. ​

Instead of answers, I have questions. 

-  How do you decide what’s important to you right now? 
-  Are you clear on your needs, vision, and priorities?
-  In your life, who decides what’s right and what’s working? 
- How do you know when you are in alignment with your core essence or purpose? 
- What signs do you get when you're in alignment and integrity vs when you are off base? How do you then course correct?
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A myriad of tools
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Of course, there are hundreds of tools and therapists and healing modalities available to help you find clarity and direction. But the best tools are the ones that you use, that respect your agency, and align with you and your ways of being.

In my practice, I show people how to use their human design and hand analysis to integrate those ways of being into their life, work, and relationships. But instead of a prescriptive approach, we find patterns in tendencies and ways of being and then translate them into real, tangible ways to enhance who they are and align their daily actions with their hardwiring and design. ​

But the essence of my work and those whose work I trust ask the most potent question of all: ​

‘What would it be like if you trusted yourself again?’ ​

Followed by this runner up:

‘What would it be like if you didn’t gaslight yourself?’

See, the world we live in gaslights us constantly and we internalize that programming. If anyone is doing this work with you and doesn’t have that fundamental question at the heart of EVERYTHING they do, then walk away, right now.
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Questions for reflection:

How can you personally tell, between your intuition/inner knowing vs. fear/trauma/conditioning speaking?

How do those 'voices' or 'feelings' move through you differently? Do you give yourself enough space to investigate and act accordingly?
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'Rightness' is a relative term.

I ask you again. 
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‘Right for whom? Right for now? Right based on what factors?’ 

A place that I often struggle is getting clarity on what's right for me, because of the conditioning I've followed, that asked that I align the 'rightness' based on what others needed or the urgent vs important tasks, or the agenda of whiteness and patriarchy. The more I revel in my own agency and listen to my inner compass, the clearer I see my place and the path to my calling and inner peace.

But it's not always easy to listen or rediscover who we are underneath the layers of experience, expectations, and conditioning.

I no longer want to be ok with limiting my own voice, make do with situations that don't serve me, lower myself just to fit in. I'm reclaiming my right to exist, to be 'difficult', to ask for what I want and need, and allow myself to be seen and heard and take up space.

I urge you to seek your own answers and find your own dharma and life path. A simple sentiment yet often times more difficult than not, to live it. Underneath our programming, the expectations of others, the stress and pressure, is your essence. Align with that version of right.

Doing what’s best for you and your situation is always RIGHT.

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Image: Person on a beach walking a labrynth marked out on the sand with rocks and the sea in the background.


Image Credit: Ashley Batz, LinkedIn