Note: I wrote this piece back in 2017 and it’s a point that I keep coming back to in my work with non-men, mostly women and those with multiple margins. A common thread to those who long to follow their calling and do meaningful work is overcoming the impact of colonialism, supremacy, and capitalism and how the three work together to maintain power and dominance of cishet patriarchy. Doing our work is a political act of defiance. In this piece, I unpack some of the layers around capitalism, labor, and economics.
I have a sense, that in an attempt to undo the harmful effects of capitalism, many womxn, femmes, biwoc, those with disabilities, and marginalized folks in general, end up doing too much for free. I see them taking on the emotional and all other forms of labor and absorbing the costs (emotional and otherwise) into their (sometimes) already strained lives, relationships, and finances.
And conversely, I see awesome projects that are abandoned because of lack of leadership, ‘hot potatoing’ responsibility that saddles the last one standing with the cost of labor. These are potentially life changing ideas and projects that can't just be accomplished with a labor of love. And even if someone does it, they often leave the main party resentful. Ultimately, it's unsustainable.
And further, most of the people I have worked with suffer from burn out, exhaustion, unsustainable ways of being that keep us from doing meaningful work for very long.
Let’s break down the (true) costs
There is an unavoidable cost to doing our work. In economic terms, which by the way is a study of how we use scarce resources, we call it opportunity cost. There is a cost to picking one choice, because we have limited time, money, resources, attention and so on to put towards an activity. By saying yes to one thing, we must often say no to other opportunities.
Without a lens of patriarchy and how systems of oppression work, all else being equal, we all have the same chance of doing our work and being paid fairly for that same work. And with that same lack of understanding, we can say that ‘everyone’ has the same access to these opportunities and the same access to fair pay. By that logic, we all get paid a fair living wage and can make choices based on meaning not survival.
But we know that’s not true.
Not even close.
Wage gap statistics show that women make less than men, some seventy or eighty cents to the dollar. And current evidence that was just released in November 2018, shows those numbers look more like 49 cents in real terms, not the original seventy or eighty.
If we factor in race the statistics for Latinx and Black women it’s even lower. Most are not tracking non-gender conforming and trans individual numbers, but they are appalling. And in the UK and US, it’s still perfectly legal to pay disabled folx as little as £1/hour. A lesbian couple was just fired for calling each other ‘wife’ at work, many queer individuals have to face this sort of abuse.
To make matters worse, it’s mostly white men are more likely to have the higher banded positions to start with, according to UK data.
That means that for every dollar (or whatever currency we use), there is less income available, even for the same position and same job title and same experience for the marginalized. Already, it’s an unequal playing field.
Non-men historically have borne the brunt of second shift work, the work that happens at home.
We must also factor in the ‘marriage penalty’ for married women or the lack of support when caregivers and parents must care for their children, their elderly or disabled family members. Women face these penalties by less pay and the cumulative loss of that income over the course of their careers. Contrast that to the parallel ‘family’ that most married men receive for having a family.
And there is often unpaid work at home that must be considered. Use this calculator to find out how much labor you might be taking on at home that zaps your time and energy.
Of course, it would be helpful to understand emotional labor and the toll that takes as well. Here’s a good primer.
Of course, it would be helpful to understand emotional labor and the toll that takes as well. Here’s a good primer.
When we dollar-cost-average those wages with the unpaid time, our hourly rate, often overly low to start with, become even more so. And the total wage compared to the labor actually expended does not afford many with a livable wage.
Unliveable, unsustainable, and unrewarding.
In other words, we’re not all paid fairly. Until we have livable wages and our basic needs for free, those that benefit from the free labor have the ultimate advantage. Reminder: capitalism grows and thrives on free labor (amongst other things).
And by saying no to some things, we say yes to other things. And when we say an emphatic ‘YES’ to that which brings us peace, happiness, supports our wellbeing, we are subverting these systems.
In other words, we’re not all paid fairly. Until we have livable wages and our basic needs for free, those that benefit from the free labor have the ultimate advantage. Reminder: capitalism grows and thrives on free labor (amongst other things).
And by saying no to some things, we say yes to other things. And when we say an emphatic ‘YES’ to that which brings us peace, happiness, supports our wellbeing, we are subverting these systems.
Saying YES to Thriving
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Audre Lorde
Yes, we need to breakdown kyriarchy AND we need to be paid. Even in late stage capitalism that we live in, we still need money and the things that affords us, to survive and even, (dare we?), THRIVE.
We can do this without sacrificing our needs and absorbing the costs.
The truth is, we have work to do in the world and we have limited time on this planet. And these systems of oppression aren't going anywhere quickly. The question is, how can we do this in a way that still is fair, just, equitable, and inclusive.
That’s exactly where I play in possibilities and do my work. Before we get into the practical, let’s linger on the framing.
It's all about power. As marginalized folx, we might not always have the power to dismantle the bigger structures. I get that.
But we have the power to do our work.
We have the power to undo the indoctrination and internalized BS that keeps us feeling small and less than.
We have the power of consent and agency.
We have the power and we must take it back. No one is going to just give it to us, especially where systemic oppression is in play (and where isn’t it in play?).
We have the power to learn to re-center ourselves and our needs. Yet these too require time, money, resources, opportunity, and inclinations, I am not oblivious to these levels of privilege.
However, even in our heart, our ways of being, there are places for us to reclaim and recenter ourselves.
Are we letting others run the show?
Far too long, we have allowed the needs of others to run the show. I see so many fabulous individuals (including myself) hide our gifts for a myriad of reason all because we've seen those gifts be misconstrued or misunderstood or misused or weaponized against us or those we love.
Our need to express and our need for purpose and meaning are valid asks.
We are influenced by the agendas of others. In most spaces, we’re projected upon to one degree or another. Judgements, biases, control, power, and economics all play into these dynamics.
They show up in small, insidious ways.
I also think the fear of hurting others inadvertently plays a role here. The most powerful healers and artists have wounds (just like all of us). But it takes real power (and opportunity) to heal that.
And it takes courage to not lash out from that wound, but create from our power instead. Not as in power over another, of course, but of true power and inner strength. We too are human and might make mistakes and hurt others inadvertently. But how we handle it speaks more than the error itself.
It's about owning our gifts and following the call. Making sure we are a channel for our creativity and open to the voice of the muse.
And often our very specialized, honed, nurtured, and nuanced skills and wisdom are hard to readily articulate to a world that seeks a silver bullet, a quick fix, an elevator pitch, a punch line, and a bottom line. We can't fit ourselves and our work and stay in alignment in such a tight structure.
And as business owners, healers, creatives, artists, writers, and those that challenge the status quo, we have the right to ask for fair payment for our work. We need not do it all for free for the love of art. That might mean setting boundaries, saying no, asking for what is need and allowing ourselves to receive it.
When we do work, even for our communities and organizations, can we make sure we are supported. The water protectors at Standing Rock often have to give up time with family or paid work to protect the water for us all. They put out calls for support with clarity. This particular work might be ‘unpaid’ and essential to the survival of the planet, AND there might be ways to source ourselves in a variety of ways to make sure that we are taken care of as we do this type of work as well.
We still live in late stage capitalism and we still need money to function in our society. Some are called to live as a modern hunter gathers or digital nomads, but as artists and creators we may need more stability to create from within the fire consistently (I certainly do!). And some of us are parents. And some of us have disabilities. And some of us have edges that are not obvious but limit us in one way, shape, or form. And doing things on speck and a favor for a friend or for the love of art doesn't pay rent or buy groceries.
Each of us is unique. And so how we solve this issue of doing our work and being paid and offering things at a rate that is accessible to our peeps can be a real challenge and will also be highly personalized. And each solution will be unique to us and the circumstances and need around us. Only patriarchy demands uniformity and universalization. Let's find our way through opening up authentic conversations about this and being transparent and practicing consent in our work and our business models.
Let's not forget to accept that in fighting for justice, we must be just to ourselves and our calling.
We can't do our work if we're penniless and homeless and hungry.
We must be paid fairly. And that calling will keep calling.
Our need to express and our need for purpose and meaning are valid asks.
We are influenced by the agendas of others. In most spaces, we’re projected upon to one degree or another. Judgements, biases, control, power, and economics all play into these dynamics.
They show up in small, insidious ways.
I also think the fear of hurting others inadvertently plays a role here. The most powerful healers and artists have wounds (just like all of us). But it takes real power (and opportunity) to heal that.
And it takes courage to not lash out from that wound, but create from our power instead. Not as in power over another, of course, but of true power and inner strength. We too are human and might make mistakes and hurt others inadvertently. But how we handle it speaks more than the error itself.
It's about owning our gifts and following the call. Making sure we are a channel for our creativity and open to the voice of the muse.
And often our very specialized, honed, nurtured, and nuanced skills and wisdom are hard to readily articulate to a world that seeks a silver bullet, a quick fix, an elevator pitch, a punch line, and a bottom line. We can't fit ourselves and our work and stay in alignment in such a tight structure.
And as business owners, healers, creatives, artists, writers, and those that challenge the status quo, we have the right to ask for fair payment for our work. We need not do it all for free for the love of art. That might mean setting boundaries, saying no, asking for what is need and allowing ourselves to receive it.
When we do work, even for our communities and organizations, can we make sure we are supported. The water protectors at Standing Rock often have to give up time with family or paid work to protect the water for us all. They put out calls for support with clarity. This particular work might be ‘unpaid’ and essential to the survival of the planet, AND there might be ways to source ourselves in a variety of ways to make sure that we are taken care of as we do this type of work as well.
We still live in late stage capitalism and we still need money to function in our society. Some are called to live as a modern hunter gathers or digital nomads, but as artists and creators we may need more stability to create from within the fire consistently (I certainly do!). And some of us are parents. And some of us have disabilities. And some of us have edges that are not obvious but limit us in one way, shape, or form. And doing things on speck and a favor for a friend or for the love of art doesn't pay rent or buy groceries.
Each of us is unique. And so how we solve this issue of doing our work and being paid and offering things at a rate that is accessible to our peeps can be a real challenge and will also be highly personalized. And each solution will be unique to us and the circumstances and need around us. Only patriarchy demands uniformity and universalization. Let's find our way through opening up authentic conversations about this and being transparent and practicing consent in our work and our business models.
Let's not forget to accept that in fighting for justice, we must be just to ourselves and our calling.
We can't do our work if we're penniless and homeless and hungry.
We must be paid fairly. And that calling will keep calling.
A note on the practicals
As a rule, I am not a fan of blanket advice or best practices that do not keep the individual needs, priorities, and tendencies in mind. However, there are some ways to approach following our calling and navigating the economics.
- Understand your design and tendencies. If you know how you are wired and how you work best, you can stop fighting your inherent approaches and wisdom, you can align and ally with yourself.
- Learn to say no and create boundaries. What can you release?
- Create a container for what you trying to create. Make time, space, and resources available to grow this new vision.
- Get clear on what it you want to do. Clarity is the biggest game changer for most people I work with on a daily basis.
- Be realistic. Take stock of the resources, relationships, and inner resilience you might have already available to you.
- Ask for support. What sort of support will help you grow your vision into reality?
- Double up. Can we do activities that support more than one cause, i.e. knitting that makes hats for those in need but also fulfils us in ways that honors our need for quiet time?
- Look to those in community organizing. Witness how they amplify, ask, listen, share and get super focused on their causes.
- Start small. Rome was not built in a day, the same with your vision.
Image: Person wearing a flannel shirt and glasses resting their elbow on a yellow wall, with their cheek resting on their hand.
Image Credit: Blake Connally, Unsplash
Image Credit: Blake Connally, Unsplash
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