Safety is not created in one moment.
It is an intention set. It is action and follow through. It is commitment. It is awareness.
It happens in dialogue. It happens in motion.
Safety is a dance.
It is created by the dance of interactions, communications, nuances, subtitles and subtlety. It is created in the moment of sharing, listening and connecting.
To get clarity, definite boundaries, seek consent, check in, listen for feedback, misstep and course correct, apologize, are all messy and uncomfortable at times.
In seeking safety, borderline offense or awkwardness may happen at times. But when we meet fears and concerns with the power of listening, witnessing, communion, humility, acceptance and love, that transmutes the hurt, the fears, the pain, the anger, the rage, the sadness, the trauma into power and galvanizes action.
People often cause harm inadvertently. Yes, impact is more important than intent. And depending on our boundaries, priorities, resources, as well as inequalities, inequities, and injustice, safety is not something that is the norm in our world—but it needs to be the norm.
Are you willing?
It's the willingness to listen.
It’s the willingness to be vulnerable.
It's the willingness to witness.
It's the willingness to be wrong.
It's the willingness to change.
It’s a willingness to be daring.
To be courageous.
To be daring.
To be alive.
Creating an atmosphere of safety
Safety is not a given in our world. It is very much based on privilege. Certain people get to be safe and others, the vast of individuals majority, feel insecure and unworthy of safety. The paradigm we live in is one of lack of safety, concern, and consideration.
Safety is creating a space where the needs of the most marginalized are protected and kept safe. In the powerful words of Desiree Lynn Adaway, "When we center solutions around THE most vulnerable the rest of us are ok."
Safety is not just a feeling, it is very much a verb. And in creating safety includes vulnerability, a willingness to be seen and heard, strong boundaries, communication especially those of non-verbal cues and emotional authenticity. Speaking up and being heard. Exchange of subtle and not so subtle communication until an agreement is reached.
Safety is based on clarity of boundaries, expectations, and resources. Safety is defined by consent, first and foremost. "Yes means nothing if you are not free to say no," quoted from the powerful work of Isabel Faith Abbott around consent.
Safety, especially between individuals or groups that are unequal in position, status, hierarchy, privilege and resources, becomes a paramount. It needs to be the main objective to protect the vulnerable.
All other considerations must stem from this.
Creating safe spaces for our work
In following our calling and doing our work, we must keep this at the forefront of that work. In our relationships and life, we serve ourselves, including the marginalized parts of ourselves and those around us, when we consider safety, in all its forms, it only then we feel safe in our vulnerability and humanity.
I have been considering creating safe spaces as I am in the process of getting clarity of creating my own for those in world. Those who need a safe space, a brave space to be themselves, do the work of unpacking and deprogramming, all in the spirit of following their calling and doing their work/purpose in the world.
Questions for reflection:
Where do you feel safe? What do you need to feel brave? What can you do to build trust and safety in your work, for those you serve? What do you need to do your work and follow your calling in a deeper way? In what ways are vulnerability, trust, and safety related? How can we foster them in our relationships and communities and in our work?
Image : Three people wearing hijabs laughing and talking.
Image Credit: Rawpixel via Unsplash.
Image Credit: Rawpixel via Unsplash.
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