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10/29/2018 0 Comments

On Finding Internal Alignment

Archer wearing traditional Mongolian clothing leaning over a bow in a field.

Note: 


I wrote this piece a year ago on 15th of September 2017 while I was deeply healing and struggling with the integration piece in my life, work, and relationships. It’s a time I was deeply in the cave face-to-face with my feelings of overwhelm with my own shadows and healing edges, searching for the pieces of myself worth reclaiming and integrating in the next iteration, and sitting with the discomfort of not quite being in alignment. It first appeared on my personal Facebook wall here. I’ve since polished it and added more detail in the steps of alignment.

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The Journey

I stand by my point that every single one of us has a calling to fulfill. I stand by my point that we must do the work we were born to do, if we wish to find sustainable peace, satisfaction and contentment.

However, it's not an easy journey. Or a straightforward one.

Of course, not all of us have the time, resources, support and comfort to be able to follow our calling and live on purpose, but that does not mean it’s not worthwhile or unattainable or we should give up.

There are significant hurdles to this especially if you are marginalized or in any 'othered' category, or have more than one margin, it's likely to be more difficult.
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Healing is matter of opportunity


It requires tenacity and courage. But it also requires support.
See, living with this type of daily marginalization, causes deep wounds. But healing them is not straightforward. 'Healing,' as, Hippocrates said,' is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity'. In the daily, almost moment to moment barrage, it's hard to find a spare moment to do this healing and integration work.
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The healing is not to change the systems of oppression and inequality necessarily. That is the job of the oppressors, the elite, the ones in power. Yet with each moment of healing, reclaiming, and integrating reduces the shadow of us all. 
​

But what can be done?

In my opinion, each person’s process to find their alignment and move into integration is unique to them and their process. And each point of transition in our lives brings new challenges and needs new perspectives and skills. That being said, I have found stages in the process that many of us go through on our way to realignment.
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Realignment

First, we must find our internal realignment.
It is a deeply personal process of remembering who you are, before the conditioning, trauma, and memes changed your perception and covered up your truth and power. This includes a rediscovering of who you are, your why, your calling and your potential. Looking deeply at your hardwiring and your unique design, voice, and needs. Also, much of this reclamation process is dependent on your unique set of priorities and situation at any given moment.

This stage in the process is often marked with feelings of confusion, self-doubt, hesitation, loneliness and uncertainty with moments of intense clarity and vision. It’s a realization that life is not quite what you were hoping or needing it to be and a sense to find a different path. It can often be slow and inward focused, though for some external change or upheaval can instigate the process.
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Though there are literally hundreds of tools to help find clarity on reclamation, the ones that help almost everyone are those that lift the veil into our shadows. We hold a light to our wounds and lean in to what is present for us.
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Transformation

Transformation is the second step.

The next is a process of deep transformation. It is often as we look into the role of biology (epigenetics), ancestral wounds, programming and conditioning. Unpacking each element and its lasting influence in your life. Finding the triggers, the pain, the shadow, and your fears. Deprogramming at a deep level. It's the real work.
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This stage often feels like a dark night of the soul. It often resembles the cocoon stage of the butterfly where the body of the caterpillar liquifies and the imaginal cells of the newly forming butterfly grow. We may seek help at this stage and there is often a need to really get grounded. It the stage where many layers of changes are happening, often below the surface. Your internal light shines into the depths of darkness.
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(Re)Integration

And the last stop is (re)integration.

Where we transcend the programming and rewrite the scripts that limited us. It is owning your power in a new way. A new-found confidence and self-assurance emerges. It's seeing the world and your situation as it is and getting on with your calling. The translation of turning vision into reality, clarity of action, and integrating purpose with day-to-day life and expression. We often find peace and connection. It’s the process of ‘Aligned. Meaning. Impact.’ brought to life.

We often toggle between steps two and three often as we see the programming, release it, and integrate your new findings into your life, work, and relationships. Learning to center yourself is tough work. Having the uncomfortable conversations is not a cake walk. Overcoming internal resistance is not easy. Staying true to your north star is hard during the storms.
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This does not mean that the oppressive systems will disappear or that it is fully your job to dismantle them. It means facing the day with courage and acting with integrity. As we heal and come into alignment, we undo the internalized oppression and heal the oppressor within, so we become less harmful and more aligned in all we do.
In this piece by Leesa Renee Hall on her blog post titled: The Real Reason Why Self Published Books Are Not Giving Authors Instant Credibility Overnight, she references my original piece. 
 
Image: Archer wearing traditional Mongolian clothing leaning over a bow in a field.
Image Credit: Anand Tumurtogoo via Unsplash.
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8/20/2018 0 Comments

On Doing Your Work (The How Matters)

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To do your work in the world does not mean you have to become an anti-racism teacher, nor does it mean you have to start talking about fat shaming or consent culture or bisexual erasure or capitalism any other topic. You don't need to talk about any of it. It doesn't mean you need to change the heart of your message or who you are.


You don't need to become a savior for all the marginalized of the world. You don't need to care about EVERY SINGLE topic and issue. You don't need to follow the news cycle and weigh in on everything.


There isn't enough time to do so. Not only is it unsustainable, it's impractical and it often comes at the cost of our day-to-day well-being. And if you have multiple margins this is doubly so.


Yes, you have your work, your message, your healing and your arts to share. And it can be done and delivered in ways that bring anti-oppressive ways to the how we do it.


To do your work does mean: you have to do your inner work both around healing the wounds of oppression and undoing the harm you may be causing with your privilege.


To do your work does mean: you take responsibility for yourself, your body, your actions, your choices, your words, your energy, your biases, and your attitudes. And honor the same sovereignty in others.


To do your work does mean: you take care of your self-care. The personal is the political in a world that does make profit at the cost of nature and humanity itself, reclaiming our connection to self, nature, universe, and each other is radical.


To do your work does mean: you take responsibility for doing your work in such a way that is in alignment to your inner truth and is actively dismantling systems of oppression. You get to decide how and prioritize where to focus your resources and energy at any given time, use them for the highest good.


To do your work does mean: you understand that it will take us all to dismantle what currently is and it will take all of us to create a global framework of liberation, the change we wish to see in the world. But if you're coming to this work not realizing that we're all in this together, but to save someone outside of you, then you're doing it wrong.


To do your work does mean: the how you do things is just as important as what you do. Using oppression in your work does not justify the harm caused or the end result. We must seek to root out oppressive ways in our work, our words, and our actions at all levels.
​

That is your work.

Image Credit: Heidi Sandstrom, Unsplash.
Image: person's hand holding a compass, flowery shrubs in the background. 
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7/29/2018 0 Comments

‘Rightness’ is Relative, On Knowing Your Truth

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‘Rightness' is a relative concept.
​

Right for whom? Right for when/now? Right based on what factors?

Capitalism and kyriarchy forces choices based on factors often outside of what's good for us, our wellbeing, our families and communities, and ultimately, society. We’re socialized to think of others and their needs, more than our own, especially non-men and the marginalized. 
On top of that, we live in a world where the assumption is not autonomy and sovereignty, but projection, assumption, judgements, biases, and filters to how we connect and make meaning. Inherently, we’re meaning making machines and have been hard-wired to be that way since birth. And in the first seven years of life, we’re essentially making sense of the world and how to interact in it. That’s the process of indoctrination. ​
Many interactions lead with the assumption that is not rooted in safety, consent, and the understanding that people know themselves and their situation better than anyone else. And we’re encouraged to hero worship and put experts and others on pedestals, saying they know better than us. We are immersed in a culture of patriarchy that makes us doubt ourselves, that makes us sacrifice our well being for ‘profit’, that values productivity and intellect over connection and love, and, in essence, obfuscates who we are and what we are here to do. It’s no wonder we’ve forgotten. 
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But you do know your Truth?
​

The underlying truth is we do know ourselves and what is right for us. Or at the very least, we have the potential to at any given moment. ​
What's right for me right now, might not be what's right for me next week or even in 10 minutes. The same for you. ​
Instead of answers, I have questions. 

-  How do you decide what’s important to you right now? 
-  Are you clear on your needs, vision, and priorities?
-  In your life, who decides what’s right and what’s working? 
- How do you know when you are in alignment with your core essence or purpose? 
- What signs do you get when you're in alignment and integrity vs when you are off base? How do you then course correct?
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A myriad of tools
​

Of course, there are hundreds of tools and therapists and healing modalities available to help you find clarity and direction. But the best tools are the ones that you use, that respect your agency, and align with you and your ways of being.
In my practice, I show people how to use their human design and hand analysis to integrate those ways of being into their life, work, and relationships. But instead of a prescriptive approach, we find patterns in tendencies and ways of being and then translate them into real, tangible ways to enhance who they are and align their daily actions with their hardwiring and design. ​
But the essence of my work and those whose work I trust ask the most potent question of all: ​
‘What would it be like if you trusted yourself again?’ ​
Followed by this runner up:
‘What would it be like if you didn’t gaslight yourself?’
See, the world we live in gaslights us constantly and we internalize that programming. If anyone is doing this work with you and doesn’t have that fundamental question at the heart of EVERYTHING they do, then walk away, right now.
​

Questions for reflection:

How can you personally tell, between your intuition/inner knowing vs. fear/trauma/conditioning speaking?

How do those 'voices' or 'feelings' move through you differently? Do you give yourself enough space to investigate and act accordingly?
​

'Rightness' is a relative term.

I ask you again. 
​

‘Right for whom? Right for now? Right based on what factors?’ 
A place that I often struggle is getting clarity on what's right for me, because of the conditioning I've followed, that asked that I align the 'rightness' based on what others needed or the urgent vs important tasks, or the agenda of whiteness and patriarchy. The more I revel in my own agency and listen to my inner compass, the clearer I see my place and the path to my calling and inner peace.
But it's not always easy to listen or rediscover who we are underneath the layers of experience, expectations, and conditioning.

I no longer want to be ok with limiting my own voice, make do with situations that don't serve me, lower myself just to fit in. I'm reclaiming my right to exist, to be 'difficult', to ask for what I want and need, and allow myself to be seen and heard and take up space.

I urge you to seek your own answers and find your own dharma and life path. A simple sentiment yet often times more difficult than not, to live it. Underneath our programming, the expectations of others, the stress and pressure, is your essence. Align with that version of right.

Doing what’s best for you and your situation is always RIGHT.

​
Image: Person on a beach walking a labrynth marked out on the sand with rocks and the sea in the background.


Image Credit: Ashley Batz, LinkedIn


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11/7/2017 0 Comments

Building Safety Into Our Work

Three people wearing hijabs laughing and talking.
​Safety is not created in one moment. 
It is an intention set. It is action and follow through. It is commitment. It is awareness. 
It happens in dialogue. It happens in motion.
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​Safety is a dance. 
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It is created by the dance of interactions, communications, nuances, subtitles and subtlety. It is created in the moment of sharing, listening and connecting.
To get clarity, definite boundaries, seek consent, check in, listen for feedback, misstep and course correct, apologize, are all messy and uncomfortable at times.
In seeking safety, borderline offense or awkwardness may happen at times. But when we meet fears and concerns with the power of listening, witnessing, communion, humility, acceptance and love, that transmutes the hurt, the fears, the pain, the anger, the rage, the sadness, the trauma into power and galvanizes action.
People often cause harm inadvertently. Yes, impact is more important than intent. And depending on our boundaries, priorities, resources, as well as inequalities, inequities, and injustice, safety is not something that is the norm in our world—but it needs to be the norm.
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​Are you willing?
​

It's the willingness to listen.
​It’s the willingness to be vulnerable.
It's the willingness to witness.
It's the willingness to be wrong. 
It's the willingness to change. 
It’s a willingness to be daring. ​
To be courageous.
To be daring. ​
To be alive. ​
Creating an atmosphere of safety
Safety is not a given in our world. It is very much based on privilege. Certain people get to be safe and others, the vast of individuals majority, feel insecure and unworthy of safety. The paradigm we live in is one of lack of safety, concern, and consideration. 
Safety is creating a space where the needs of the most marginalized are protected and kept safe. In the powerful words of Desiree Lynn Adaway, "When we center solutions around THE most vulnerable the rest of us are ok."
Safety is not just a feeling, it is very much a verb. And in creating safety includes vulnerability, a willingness to be seen and heard, strong boundaries, communication especially those of non-verbal cues and emotional authenticity. Speaking up and being heard. Exchange of subtle and not so subtle communication until an agreement is reached. 
Safety is based on clarity of boundaries, expectations, and resources. Safety is defined by consent, first and foremost. "Yes means nothing if you are not free to say no," quoted from the powerful work of Isabel Faith Abbott around consent. 
Safety, especially between individuals or groups that are unequal in position, status, hierarchy, privilege and resources, becomes a paramount. It needs to be the main objective to protect the vulnerable.  
All other considerations must stem from this. ​


Creating safe spaces for our work
​

In following our calling and doing our work, we must keep this at the forefront of that work. In our relationships and life, we serve ourselves, including the marginalized parts of ourselves and those around us, when we consider safety, in all its forms, it only then we feel safe in our vulnerability and humanity. 
I have been considering creating safe spaces as I am in the process of getting clarity of creating my own for those in world. Those who need a safe space, a brave space to be themselves, do the work of unpacking and deprogramming, all in the spirit of following their calling and doing their work/purpose in the world. 
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Questions for reflection:
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Where do you feel safe? What do you need to feel brave? What can you do to build trust and safety in your work, for those you serve? What do you need to do your work and follow your calling in a deeper way? In what ways are vulnerability, trust, and safety related? How can we foster them in our relationships and communities and in our work?
Image : Three people wearing hijabs laughing and talking.
Image Credit: Rawpixel via Unsplash.
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7/20/2017 1 Comment

Barriers to Transformation

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Image Credit: Edwin Andrade Image: Brown woman with long black curly hair, wearing a t-shirt and tattoos, looking out of a window in Los Angles, California.


Women are supposedly paid 75 cents on the dollar for men's work. Yet, this refers to white men and women. Evidence shows that people of color, women especially, are paid far less. Similarly, individuals with disabilities and GLBTQIA+, depending on the situation quite possibly suffer the same.

And all the while, money is concentrating into few hands. The wealth being siphoned from the poorest to the wealthiest. These elites do this intentionally through the media, corporations, institutions, and governments, the long arms and talking pieces, controlling the situation from behind the scenes.

While we do our best to speak up and break through the glass ceilings and systems of oppression, it's a real thing.

The majority of even 'middle class' families can barely keep a month's expenses aside for a rainy day. One bad month away from poverty. More and more individuals live below the poverty line, services cut, real buying power decreasing, and wages stagnating.

While world-wide, charitable donations are up. Fewer people live in deep poverty. Many billionaires and millionaires give very generously through philanthropic causes. Yet, they too have not managed to upend the systematic oppression, partially because they ultimately benefit from it.

Individuals growing up in poverty and living in an unequal society (I.e. living with racism, sexism, ageism etc.) creates a shell shock to the brain and epigenome. We know that epigenetics impacts quality of life and is stored as ancestral wounds. We've lived in 500+ years of colonialism and globalization. For generations, this oppressive system have lived on in our DNA, our stories, our histories. Yet all of this is largely unacknowledged or paid lip service to in sensitivity or diversity training.

There is no leaving. No escape hatches. No back door. Nowhere to go, even if you wanted to do so.

I'm not saying that we must accept this situation. I'm not saying to hate the privileged and wealthy. I'm not saying that all hope is lost.

What I am saying it that we do live in an unequal society. It's not just your imagination.
What I am saying is that privileged folks have had generations to preserve and accumulate wealth.

What I am saying is that the current economic, social, and political climate gives an advantage to some, not all.

What I am saying is that even if you make less, your bills and needs are not less. In fact, the marginalized have layers of programming and ancestral wounds to heal in addition to their current circumstances.

I'm getting tired of individuals within the personal growth industry, especially whites, who ignore these factors of inequality in their pricing, sales and marketing practices.
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I'm tired of inflated prices and the shaming in not being able to afford the investment without putting individuals and families at risk from debt.

I'm tired of people profiting from fear based messages and yielding very little transformation. And many feel shame about speaking out against such messaging or services.

I'm tired of the deaf ear towards these injustices.

This is to say nothing of the actual program materials and approach that often perpetuates oppression and further marginalizes the marginalized.
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When we ignore the truth and deny reality, we cause harm. When the very nature of our so-called empowerment does not actually liberate, but further subjugate, we are doing damage. Here is a reminder: IMPACT>INTENT.

Just stop and listen.

And if you are marginalized, know that in my space you are safe.
I do not pretend that I know all. I have consciously worked unceasingly to unpack my own wounds, from colonialism through my inquiry into patriarchy within my own life and the impact of the British empire within India, related to Bharata Natyam. I have spent the past 20 years teaching, writing, editing, consulting about remembering and recovering identity, illuminating purpose, and defining life on your terms. I personally unschooling my daughter. I am a business owner. I have lived the struggles of being a brown body in a white washed world. And I have a unique blend of science-based tools to illuminate truth and gentility of compassion and deep listening that leads to radical transformation.

My promise to you: walk with you through the dark days, recover who you are, and rewrite the programs to take back your full potential and step fully into your power. If you're ready, I'm here.

Here's a video lecture that I created about overcoming systemic oppression in regards to living your life by design and fulfilling your calling. Check it out and I will open my calendar for a heart to heart discussion with me -- no strings attached to connect about this and the impact on your life and journey. If you are looking for support, we can discuss that as well.

Video Lecture link. 
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7/3/2017 0 Comments

Your Cultural Power

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Photo Credit: Adamara. Image: South Korean woman walking through an archway in Seoul.
One of the places that our power is dissipated is through forgetting and losing our cultural context and identity. Reclaiming who you are, your whole self is crucial to the journey to your power.


Our culture in the western world is difficult to maintain. The indigenous cultures are by and large ignored, destroyed while the dominant 'culture' or lack of culture is maintained. In this context, we've forgotten who we really are. A big part of recovering this is finding our ancestral nature as humans and our cultural identity.


We push our physical movements into the small space of counting our steps or going to the gym. But ancestral movement was varied and overall more 'nutritious' like squatting, carrying water, foraging and hunting and farming. It included building, entertainment, defence.


Our foods have become morphed by processing, with the interest of increasing shelf life and profitability, not nutritional status, environmental sustainability, or fair living wages for workers. Instead our ancestors, lived from the land, they understood the cycles of time, the nuances of the connectivity of living things and natural cycles. Foods would have been local, nutritionally dense, and valued--nothing thrown away.


Family life was not just limited to the nuclear family and relatives for national holidays, it was a way of life. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins were all a part of everyday life: child care, cooking, education, were shared responsibilities. Also protection, food, and connection were for the benefit of all in the tribe.
Education was not merely sitting in a school room with a book. But was varied, the school room was the foraging done with a mother, the babysitting done by a cousin or older sibling, the hunting of game, the learning of farming and subsistence with your community, the passing on of teachings through oral stories, songs, traditions and dancing.


In these and in hundreds of other ways, we have allowed ourselves to be sold a lie, a manufactured, easy, shadow version of who we are as people, as individuals, as a collective. It's no longer wonder that we have collectively lost our ways. It's not taught, not role modelled and purposely dismissed in the mainstream culture. But that is our true nature.


Instead of culture being separated by a music appreciation class in school or an evening at the theatre, or an 'ethnic' dinner out with friends or a Zumba dance class, let's make it a part of our everyday.
​

We have externalized our culture, just like we have externalized our utilities, our movement, our entertainment, our relationships, our food, our labor, our identities and our education. It's time to integrate them back into our very essence. Recovering yourself in these ways is not only essential but transformative.


Before you leap into this, get very clear on who you are and where you came from. By this, I do not mean merely your culture, ethnicity, race or location. I mean, where we came from as humans. What you stand for as a person. Why you're here now. What is the greater meaning to your life.


Yes, parts of our own personal histories and herstories have been lost, just as those of the collective and the marginalized. Yet, they can be recovered. It's easier to do that now before they truly do disappear. Start by dipping your toe.
Beyond the personal, you can find out about your relations, your family, your heritage. You can learn the language of your ancestors, if it indeed still exists. You can recover the art, drama, dance, and creative expressions. You can rediscovery native foods, flavors, textures, garb and fragrances. You can allow yourself to learn the old ways, the old stories, the old movements.


It's a bold move and one that centers your life around you, instead of in the dominant culture that alienates you and separates you from community and yourself.


Take the courageous steps to rediscover who you are.
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6/30/2017 0 Comments

The Power of Realignment

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Image Credit: Kendall Lane. Image: Woman's hand holding a compass
A magnet has the power to realign molecules to their true north.
When exposed to heat, some metals lose their magnetic quality, each molecule acting higgledy-piggledy and pointing in random directions.

Rubbing a magnet along the metal, realigns the molecules and once again they point true north, lining up with the magnet's field.

Just like that, heat in the form of stress, oppression, injustice, and experiences can help us to forget our own alignment.

Alignment with who you are, with why you are here, with the patterns and nuances of your life and experience, with your strengths and gifts, and your spiritual nature. Discovering or rediscovering who you are is a gift, a treasure. Being in alignment with your true nature bolsters you in times of change or stress.

When you know who you are, what you stand for, and focus on your priorities, things become simpler. You know exactly what your boundaries are. You know what you came here to do and tune out all else. You know clearly who and what to ally with and who to distance yourself from. You remember your life's work. You can recontextualize your life accordingly in times of strive or change. Keeping your eyes on your priorities and what you are here to do.

What you're here to do does make a difference. Can change the world. But it's crucial to not get swept away by the agendas of others and stuck in your old patterns.
Welcome to your life. That challenge that keeps showing up in a myriad of ways won't go away. It's not here for you to strategize your way out of. It's not here to mock you. It's not here to limit you.

It's here to learn from. To overcome, rewrite, reframe.

It reminds you, grounds you in your reality. As you learn to rise above, you take your life back into your own hands. You concentrate your power around yourself.

At times of flux, it's good to hang on to that north star and realign with yourself. Not much else might be there that is true and static, but who you are remains. That is real. That can guide you and keep you safe on turbulent waters.

When people work with me in the Discover services, they say that I realign them. That I bring a light into their darkness. That it's like I open a window when the doors were closing. It's a window cleaning that allows their light to shine out into the depths. They see, with clarity, who they are, why they came and resolve and inspiration to make forward progress. For the first time in a while, they are seeing the truth, with eyes wide open. They see the struggles before them in a new way.

A new confidence emerges. Doubts, overwhelm, loneliness, and struggles remain but start to fade. A new perspective and insight emerges. A lightness. A channel of power. A newfound self-respect and inner knowing emerges. A liberation of identification with struggle and disempowerment, but a generative energy to lean into the possibilities and identification with their calling.

Is it time to rediscover your truth and realign with your calling? Check out our discover services. 

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4/19/2017 0 Comments

You were born for times like this

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There is little doubt that our world has come out of balance.
  • The Earth is in the middle of the 6th mass extinction.
  • Politically and economically, we are more divided than ever.
  • Our waters are polluted, our soils depleted, our forests disappearing, and our planet warming to almost beyond repair.
  • We’ve forgotten about our roots, lost track of our food supply, our medical system seems to be more focused on profits than wellbeing.
  • Consumption and power seems to trump compassion and enlightenment.
  • Slave and child labor, human trafficking, and slave trades are still going strong, human rights violations seem to be the norm, not the exception.
  • Marginalized groups live on guard, they regularly play on an unfair playing field and are discriminated based on factors other than equality.
  • Corporate profits, government bureaucracy, citizen apathy and an overwhelming ‘pass the buck’ mentality reigns supreme.
The Hopi’s have a perfect word for it: koyaanisqatsi, life out of balance. These are signs of forgetting who we are as people, as spiritual beings in a human body. We’re no longer leading with purpose.

And yet.

There is perfection in this too. What can it show you? What can it show us, as a member of humanity?

And yet.

You were born for times like these.

Suffering and conflict are impacting the world.

And yet.

Here you are.

Being sick, being in war, being in suffering. Is there a purpose to it?

In my estimation, a resounding ‘yes’.

While there are many positive things happening, suffering teaches you how to be miserable a necessary skill to the true walker of the path. Mass numbers of people are suffering yet they are in the struggle for the sake of struggle. You pick the reasons: 3rd world problems like lack of proper sanitation or basic necessities, 2nd world desire for more, to live like the first world, and 1st world problems of being squashed in the race to the top and still not finding the peace they were looking for.
But even in the midst of the struggle, there is an opportunity to transcend the suffering. To rise above it. To live in such a way, that the struggle is non-existent.

There are 3 parts to this journey:
  1. Struggle. Using suffering to make meaning of the situation. After you suffer, you look back to find meaning and use it to alter the course. It’s the very definition of a ‘rebel without a cause’.
  2. Perseverance. Rising above the suffering. During the suffering, you find more positive ways of coping.  Think of the story of Cool Runnings or making lemonade out of the lemons that life provides you. Here you learn to distinguish between resistance of the flow of life and the obstacles that test your resolve and commitment.
  3. Liberation. Moving to a place, a stance that involves no suffering, transcending the suffering. The realization that life is what you create, the power is within you, and no longer needing the story of suffering. It is surrender to what is, the death of the ego in order to reveal your true nature. It is the lighting of your torch that liberates and inspires others to pick up their own torches to light the world to liberation.
This is from one of the most powerful lessons for humanity, Richard Rudd describes this in the 38th & 39th Gene Keys. Learning to transcend the struggle and in doing so, finding true liberation. Living your life totally free, unshackled. Living life fully on your terms. Very few reach this level of transcendence because it is requires a level of mastery not readily accessible at the level of the mundane.

What is your path?

This is where most of us start the journey. A growing discontent that forces change. You either choose to follow your calling or continue the pointless struggle. This is the first step. It’s an act of courage to look back at your suffering and learn from it. Life changing realization and insight can dawn under such self-reflection.

The Struggle

Yet this use of hindsight is slow. Looking back over time not only wastes the present moments during the suffering, but looking back means you’re also missing out on the current moment—however beguiling it may be, it’s the shadow that resides within our collective psyche, the warrior energy that ranges from defeatism to aggression.
It’s like the proverbial grit within the oyster that creates the pearl. That suffering can often bring us to understand our gifts, get clarity on our calling and drive us to action. It’s an essential step in your growth. Elizabeth Gilbert succinctly shares: "I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit."

Committing

In making this step, we as expressed by Stephen Pressfield, ‘The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell, whether he knows it or not. He will be dining for the duration on a diet of isolation, rejection, self-doubt, despair, ridicule, contempt, and humiliation.’ Realize this from the start. While he paints the picture to be rather dire and stark, it’s a journey to honor your own creative faculties, to manifest your life by design, rather by default.  

It's the hallmark of the persistence stage. You may find yourself reflecting on the following: Can you stand being alone with yourself? Can you stand feeling uncomfortable? Can you be like the oyster with a confound piece of sand that irritates you to finally get up and take action? Are you ready to be in the arena going for the prize?

Another huge hurdle is the very idea of competition. In reality, you’re not against someone else, you are following your own path, your own calling. This is one reason I have always loved individual sports. Yes, team sports have their place. Yet the individual athlete shows up and fights for the PB—the personal best.

Your calling asks that you get into the arena. You have to give up the ‘us vs. them’ mentality and realize the real battle is within.

Each time you get up and do your work, is a victory.
Each time you face your fears, is a victory.
Each time you focus on your work, not the result, is a victory.
Each time you act despite your fears, is a victory.

Finding Honour

This perseverance and commitment to your own success is essential to the next stage of transcendence. When you show up each day to fulfil your calling, you create the opportunity to transcend the struggle and reach honour. Giving up the struggle means understanding it is no longer about winning or losing, but playing the game, surrendering to the process.

At this level, you’re living as one with the rest of the universe. A realization emerges that what happens to one, happens to all, simultaneously. The ultimate level of responsibility to face what is yours, not just for you but for all of humanity. There ceases to be separation from live and death,

It ‘love so pure that it sacrifices itself without a thought to serve a higher aspiration’ a pearl of wisdom shared by Richard Rudd on the nature of honour in The Gene Keys.
The warrior, in all their shades, is one to create a better world, challenge the status quo, and commit to a purpose bigger than themselves. These stages, the warrior archetype shines through from the start of conflict, to the steadfastness in the face of resistance, to rising above the need for the win/lose dichotomy to a place of liberating others from their struggles. It’s the journey from finding your torch to the passing on the light to a fellow seeker, illuminating their journey. It’s the immortal nature of their story that stands the test of time, continuing to inspire the next generation of warriors.

On the finish line

"The danger is greatest when the finish line is in sight. At this point, Resistance knows we're about to beat it. It hits the panic button. It marshals one last assault and slams us with everything it's got," Stephen Pressfield, The War of Art.

As my track coach in high school said, ‘kick it in.’ Meaning give it your all as you make your sprint towards the finish line. No matter what, keep your eyes on the end goal.
It’s not the type of journey that can be completed in its entirety in a day or a season. Your calling is most likely a lifelong endeavour to fulfil. By its nature your calling involves showing up every day. The trek to the summit requires planning and the ability to withstand the conditions. It takes every bit of courage to rise to the summit. You finish one leg, camp and train for the next level. Each stage is a victory, but you’ve got to keep your eyes on the prize and remember the bigger picture.

What’s the bigger picture?
Liberation, to live your true potential without the shackles that bind us. Both the personal ones that are from our own programming or passed onto us from our family whether through genes, memes or environment, as well as the collective imprisonment through media, governance, corporations, propaganda and culture.
You break through and rise above your programming.
You find clarity and trust your own insight.
You give up your blindness of separation and ignorance and own your wisdom and power.

Ultimately, the conflicts, fears, and distractions that show up in the world only mirror those within. Showing up, facing them head on, committing to the assignment that you’re called to, and becoming a warrior of light is the only way to make progress. You’ll find peace within and without.

You have a choice to be miserable every day or live in the moment and find the peace. The chaos swirls around and there is calm at the center like a hurricane. Chaos doesn’t mean we cannot feel satisfied.

Just because there is struggle and chaos, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your live. It doesn’t have to stop us being happy or finding contentment. That part is up to us. We must learn to live in a duality one where we see the contrast between what we want and what we have, and yet be steadfast in the vision we want.

Ultimately, it’s up to you.
 
The war isn’t won with just you
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You came here with an assignment, yet it is not only you that can overcome the collective manifestations of fear, anger and hatred. You have a specific design that gives you unique capacities and strengths.

Each of us must do our part. Each person and creature faces their resistance and joins the movement.

All the epics from the Mahabharata to the Iliad to the Lord of the Rings, share a tenet that the war is won by courageous individuals coming together as one chipping in their gifts and their strengths. They become partners to overcome the struggle. Slowly but surely, the tide turns. The chaos quelled and peace returns.

You have the power

You were born for this time.

‘And that soul moved aside so that this one could go forward, and one by one, each being stepped aside so that the souls with the finest possibilities of creating heaven on Earth could move to the forefront. And here you are! You made it in! And it's my job to remind you that you are the Ones….my divine purpose in this material kingdom is to actively embody this Oneness and live its unfoldment "down here",’ by Angela Peregoff from ‘The Morning Blessing.’

Yet living ‘down here’ means we do have the struggles and limitations of humanity. We forget our truth. Like all potentials within you, transcending your programming is completely up to you.

You have the power to change your epigenome, your thoughts, your environment, and your actions.

Over to You

Consider the following questions:
  • What causes are you called to contribute to or participate in?
  • Are some struggles in your life not worth it? Can you let them go?
  • Perhaps you’re in need of clarity to change your perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, and actions.
  • Where do you need to commit and squarely face your resistance?
  • Can you face your resistance without reservation or hesitation?
  • Are you ready to transcend your struggle and find ease, grace and honour on your journey?
  • Who can you ally with as you pursue your calling? 
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4/14/2017 1 Comment

What happens to a dream deferred?

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 Photo Credit: Diana Simumpande
Harlem

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

Many of us have dreams of serving the world, leaving a legacy of impact and leaving our mark. Or we want to have an experience of a lifetime, but life comes and goes, and the dream goes unfulfilled. It often seems so far off at times. 

We all start with the idea--fabulous, grand and meaningful. But then, we put it aside. Life steps in and changes plans but the dreams, as Langston Hughes shares in his poem Harlem, and Lorraine Hansberry captures in her play A Raisin in the Sun, the dream goes deferred. 
First I want to start by saying, dream deferment is a complicated situation, based on many factors.
1) circumstances in your environment
2) your own fears and internal resistance
3) criticism, judgement or opinions of others
4)  interruptions from others
5) excuses, justifications, rationalizations
 
 
All of these items have one thing in common. Resistance, with a capital ‘R’.
Stephen Pressfield, The War of Art shares powerful words:
“Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore, the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That's why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there'd be no Resistance.”
These paths all lead to 2 choices, one that you heed the call despite, or in spite of the resistance. Or you ignore the call yet again and allow the resistance to distract you from the call.
What happens to you when you defer a dream?
Depression, PTSD, loss of hope to name a few. When you’re forced to give up on your passion or give it up under duress, it can cause physical changes to your brain. Your neurotransmitters change, the signals within the brain and to the rest of the body change. It can cause a listlessness, a lack of direction. You can feel a sense of loss or grief.
Perhaps you lose your way, not knowing why you are here and forgetting who you really are. It’s the makings of a crisis of meaning. One manifestation is the so-called dark night of the soul.
Even living in poverty or constant struggle effects the brain and its structures. These have long term implications on your epigenome and can have lingering effects from previous generations.
In short, it makes it harder to succeed in the future.
 
The science behind your choices
This choice point is paralleled in the brain’s own neural pathways.
As you’re probably aware, the subconscious runs the general programs. When you’re using your conscious brain to think, plan, visualize or contemplate, the subconscious runs the rest of the show. It runs us on autopilot. That autopilot is in the ‘on’ position, about 95 percent of the time.
If your neural networks have been practicing following your calling, facing resistance and being comfortable about being uncomfortable while you are focusing, that’s what will continue to happen when your subconscious runs the show. The opposite is also true.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. The more the specific pathway is used, the more it grows.
Your brain’s circuitry, is modelled on how the universe operates at it’s core. What we focus on, grows larger. What you regularly give your attention to, increases the affinity to that pathway and your brain, body and focus becomes more efficient and interested.
Alternatively, when you continually give up on your calling, complain, make excuses and choose the stance of victimhood, the corresponding network of neurons slowly faces attrition. When that pathway is no longer used, it is culled to make room for more of the complaints and actively looks for more reasons to complain or give up.
Bottom line: you become what you habitually do. And the more you do it, the more you’ll get good at it.
But Let’s be honest, It’s not always easy
Langston Hughes and many other pointed out the injustice of certain groups as they try to get ahead. In a Raisin in the Sun, the African-American family faces tough choices and systemic issues that make success more difficult. Make no mistake, historically, however far we have come, those hurdles still effect a larger percentage of society, than we admit to. This is in large part of this is the narrative of progress and the extent of the military-industrial complex/corporatocracy that rules the majority of the world. Minorities and those not conforming to the mainstream ways, are marginalized and their ideas and contributions do not benefit from the same advantages and weight as those who are in the so-called ‘mainstream.’
Psychologically, emotionally, and physically these structures cause damage to these marginalized individuals. It takes more courage and fortitude for these individuals to step out of their comfort zones authentically and more effort to overcome these systemic biases.
If you’re in this category of standing out because of your color, creed, orientation, gender, ability, belief, wealth, or education, then realize these structures might make following your calling more difficult. However, you can succeed. Overcoming these and other obstacles are part of your unique journey.
My own thoughts are: ‘if I was born this way, then I can succeed this way.’
Stop blaming and start taking responsibility
Instead of letting your dream be differed, I would love for you instead for you to take a moment and make these dreams a reality. Here’s some practical things to get you moving in the direction of your dreams.

A few ideas to get you started:

1) Start an account to fund your dream, aka a freedom fund. 

Take a part of your income and funnel it towards your dream. It doesn't have to be much. For those of you not used to doing this, start with setting aside as little as 1% or .5%. That means for £1 or 50p for every £100 you bring in. For many of us, we do not notice it. You can put it in a separate account or simply hold it in an envelope or jar. My advice: Keep it simple and consistent. Increase your commitment by guarding against spending and increasing the percentage saved.
2) Start saying ‘yes’ to your calling.
Make a list of activities that can take you in the direction of your calling. Each task should be simple and take about 10 minutes. Start each day by selecting one item to finish. This item is the most important task to complete for you. Each day you do this, is a way of saying ‘yes’ to your calling and wires your brain to see more possibilities and become more efficient at the task as you move forward. Celebrate your win and reset the bar tomorrow back at 1 item. My advice: do it within 5 seconds of your inspiration to bypass the resistance. And do it regularly until it becomes a habit. It’s just as important as brushing your teeth.

3) Eat to support your DNA, brain and wellbeing
Everyday your body is conducting necessary repairs, replacing old worn out cells and tissue and copying your DNA. You become what you eat, digest and assimilate, quite literally. Not only will fresh foods give you more energy than the processed counterparts, it’s tasty and more appealing. It’s like building a structure with low quality materials, you’ll also get a low-quality output and product. My advice: start crowding out the foods that are less than ideal with whole, fresh foods.
4) Say ‘No’ to resistance, clutter and distraction.
Just as it important to hardwire your brain to naturally say yes to your calling by overcoming the resistance, it is equally important to cull the habits, focus, thoughts, beliefs, relationships and things that take us in the opposite direction of your calling. My advice: take an inventory of your life and let go of the things that no longer serve you and your calling.
5) Get used to fear.
It’s impossible to make decisions and take action in the direction of your dreams when you are constantly in fear. Your brain and body can only focus on one item, protection from fears or perceived threats, or growth. Each time you focus on growth, you face the fear but shift your focus from fear to possibility. Perception is key. Change and growth require you to see fear in a new light, they are a part of the journey not a cause for alarm. My advice: Learn to listen to your fear, but take regular inspired action in spite of it.
6)  'Assume the feeling of a wish fulfilled'
This is a powerful quote from Neville Goddard. Start by finding out what it would feel like, in your body, if the wish were to be fulfilled. Would it feel different than your negative thoughts--surely! Feel it from the thoughts, the sensations and the emotions in your body. Memorize that feeling by focusing on it every day, as often as possible. In doing so, you not only activate your creative capacities, you unrehearse the old pattern and you build new neural networks in your brain. My advice: every morning before you start your day and the last five minutes before you fall asleep. Watch what happens and take note on what ideas, coincidences and synchronicities show up. 

7) Watch your thoughts, beliefs and perceptions.

Gay Hendricks talks about this in his phenomenal book, The Big Leap. We all have at least a few upper limits in our lives. The key is to realize that often these thoughts & impulses that come up are not real, but rehearsed states. The body wants it's chemical hit for the day and it goads us into feeling our usual way to keep us safe. When we step outside of that, expect resistance in it's myriad of forms. And Michael Neill shares in his book, Effortless Success, that a thought is like the weather. It flits by but we don't need to take it seriously. We have many thoughts, but a fair number are repetitive and come from our unchecked subconscious. My advice: Instead, notice your own patterns and find resources and a support system to help you through.
My final thoughts:
Don’t lose heart. You are the creator of your reality. You have the ultimate power. It’s your story that needs to emerge and you have a hand in the outcome.
Don’t let your dreams get deferred. Don’t wait for regrets to haunt you.
 
Over to You:
Do you have a dream deferred?
What will you do to allow yourself to dream, prioritize and act on that dream?
Why is that dream important to you?
Is some part of that dream already in your life or available to you?
What do you have to let go of to make room for you dream?
What have you been doing, thinking, believing, that keeps you from realizing your dream?
1 Comment

4/1/2017 1 Comment

My Why and What That Means For You

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Who I Am:

I am Anuradha Kowtha CEO of Manifest By Design. I'm a proud American and Brit, and proud of the south Indian heritage from my own immigrant parents. I'm also have a B.S. in Biology, an M.A. in Rhetoric. I'm an experienced educator, researcher, editor and business owner. I'm also an accomplished Bharata Natyam dancer and painter. I've also had the courage to follow my calling: speaking my truth, however uncomfortable, letting go of careers, homes, relationships and beliefs that are not in alignment, and pursuing that life of meaning and freedom that is our birth right. 
​

What this means for you:

1) I'm here to empower you, if you are ready to commit to your soul's calling and your liberation.
2) I'm honest to a fault. I won't tolerate lies, excuses and B.S because fulfilling your ultimate calling before it’s too late is far too important. You can't change the world and be impact to your clients if you are hiding behind your b.s. As direct as I can be, I do my best to deliver it with love.
3) My unique blend of design, training and experience means that I am here to be in service of conscious evolution using science based personal development tools. I will empower you to dismantle the programming and beliefs that keep you stuck.
4) I can understand you, your design and help you remember who you are and why you are here, before you bought the lies and dis-empowered beliefs. And express it it, mirror it, and help you integrate it to create the results you want to produce and reach your next level. 
5) I promise that after 12 months working side by side with me, you will be utterly unrecognizable. You'll be creating big things and learning to create sustainable transformation in multiple areas of your life simultaneously. 

In short, your success is my success.

Over To You:

Are you ready to follow your calling to the ends of the earth? To fulfill your highest potential with bravery and courage? It's not a journey for fainthearted. I'm ready, are you ready to go? Request a consultation and let's do this!
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